sometimes you just gotta get out of your own head

24 October 2009

So the other night I’m on my way home and arrive at the final connection where I catch the streetcar home from work.  I’ve got some heavy bags and I’ve been working really hard this week and I’m just itching to kick off my shoes and put my pajamas on.  As several of us exit the bus at a transit “loop” my streetcar is just arriving.  Hooray!  I trot – as best I can, with my bags to the car as it deposits someone, and then I begin to walk, because obviously the driver has seen me and the others walking over to the common connection point.

Just as I reach the back of the streetcar it pulls away.  I start jogging again and flip my heavy bags over to one arm and attempt to flail the other one – what the heck?  Many drivers can be cranky and not in the mood to pull a kindness, but certainly this was just plain rude.  On the car goes around the corner to begin its journey back westward toward downtown. 

I have a small temper tantrum, hollering “THANKS” after the car and giving it an angry wave.  I press on through the loop and come around the corner to find it waiting to make a right turn on to Kingston road, so I jog again, but on the car turns.   Another loud “JERK” comes out of my mouth as I walk on, thinking more longingly of supper and the warmth of home and pouting over the slight. 

I walk up a block or so and see a bus coming, which will also turn around at the loop, so I turn to go back to the bus stop.  At that point a woman says to me, “That streetcar was out of service, the sign in the back window said it was out of service.”

I thanked her for telling me, for not having to go home dwelling on what I had perceived as unkind behaviour.  No one was rude.  No one was slighting me – it was simply a streetcar driver finishing a shift and probably thinking about his or her warm house and dinner with all the longing I was.

And then I was embarrassed for my behaviour.  Sure, I wanted to be home, and I was tired and hungry.  But another bus or car comes along in a few minutes, and really the delay was insignificant. I felt like a spoiled child.  And I hoped I wouldn’t have to see that woman and the few other commuters at that loop the next day because I behaved like a child.

It’s a lesson that I seem to need to learn over and over again.  Walk in the other person’s moccasins for a minute.  Get outside of your own head.  It’s not always about you. 


3 Responses to “sometimes you just gotta get out of your own head”

  1. Hay Says:

    I love that video. And your post title made me smile, I am always WAY too inside my head.

  2. Jennifer Says:

    I think that may be a common affliction for creative people, don’t you think Hay?

  3. Reluctant Blogger Says:

    Yes, me too. I am a lot better than I used to be (I thought that every time anyone was cross it was about me!) but I think I might have reacted in exactly the same way to the incident you describe.

    Glad your evening was saved anyway.

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