big brains and meltdowns

27 August 2009

It’s 3:00 in the morning and I’m just home from the office and attempting to unwind with a tall can of Guinness and a blog post.  Me and the rest of this proposal team are pretty much at the end of our respective tethers after a marathon three weeks of putting this mother fu… monster together.  At various times over the past couple of days any one of us has been close to meltdown, and in the next hour talking a colleague off the ledge.

It’s a dichotomy, my job.  I get a great deal of satisfaction of teaming with a table full of big brains designing something that will further the success of our healthcare system.  And the feeling of getting a fine proposal out the door is akin to that which went with finishing all those papers and all those exams at the end of the winter semester.  On the other hand, it’s a wagonload of stress, particularly at the end when the baby is in my hands for the final letting go. 

Being able to survive write proposals makes you really popular with the people who sign your paycheque.  Especially when you win!  And they reward you with good raises and days off and lunches and stuff.  On the other hand, is all that worth the hours I’ve surely shaved off my life with the strain on my nervous system over the last week?

Tomorrow night is going to be a fun family and friends night down at the Molson Amphitheatre seeing Blue Rodeo and the Weakerthans.  And if I can sum up those last dregs of mental energy and bust my ass one more day, I can snag Friday off. 

Perhaps it’s one of those oh-so-human twists of logic, but the anticipated next couple of days will make that mother of all proposal submissions that much more satisfying.

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One Response to “big brains and meltdowns”


  1. […] May Sarton’s journal, “The House by the Sea.”  And then I stopped because work happened.  Today I picked her up again today and came across this passage: “I do not believe that […]


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